Mr. T takes NYC

I have written before about NYC and the almighty buck. New Yorkers will do anything to make a buck. Recent sightings include:
- A man was seen in the middle of six lanes of traffic, selling ice water out of a blue cooler to motorists stopped at red lights.
-A woman was spotted near Kitty's school, selling homemade tamales out of a shopping cart (that was stolen from Key Foods). Yes, we tried them. They were delicious.
-Craig's List ads include "rooms for rent", "apartments for rent" and "Hole-in-the wall for rent."
-A woman was seen on Myrtle Street outside a porta-potty. There was a sign on the door, "$1 per use."

It isn't just about making money, it is also about keeping money:
-A man refused to tip a cab driver because he was unable to understand the accent.
-A woman was seen at a store, trying to return a dress that was obviously worn once.
-A couple's printer broke and they bought a new one, only to return it the next day after they finished a project.

And it isn't just about money. In many ways, New Yorkers are both striving for more and protecting themselves in little ways. I believe that because of the proximity of everyone, we put up walls to protect those small things that make us who we are. If we were to give ourselves to everyone, there would be nothing left.

My in-laws, "The Ts" came to visit for Memorial Day weekend. The city may never be the same again.

On their Friday, I caught up with Kitty and the Ts at a happy hour at Town Tavern. As we sat drinking our beers, some shots went out to a table nearby. Mr. T gives a big smile and interrupts the waitress on her walk, "Hey, what are those shots?"

"SoCo and lime. They are pretty good," she smiles.

Our beers are getting shorter and shorter and the waitress comes back. She's a bit of a cutie and when she asks if anyone wants another, Mr. T puts on a bashful act. He acts out a moment of "I'd really like another beer, but I probably shouldn't because I'm ahead of everyone else, but boy it would be great if you got me one 'cause aww shucks it would taste so good on this hot, hot summer day." Not a word crosses his lips, but she understands him implicitly and gives a laugh as she walks away.

She returns a couple of moments later with a beer and a small shot glass. "Here is your beer, and this is a little something for you," she smiles, "SoCo and Lime." I think she even winked. We all roar with laughter as he gives another silent sheepish grin of "awww thanks for letting me try that, it looks so good and you knew all along that it was what I was hoping for."

"Thanks so much," he says.

NYC-, Mr. T- 1

It's Mrs. T's birthday and we are sitting in the bar of the Rainbow Room. I'm drinking a Planter's Punch, Mrs. T has a Bellini, Kitty has a glass of Pinot and Mr. T has a Rob Roy. As we sip our drinks and enjoy the view, we realize that our waiter has abandoned us for more thirsty (lucrative) guests. Our lifeline of mixed nuts is fading fast. As we munch, Mr. T gets up to stretch. He appears a moment later with a full bowl of nuts. Looking behind him, we see a veritable cauldron of legumes leaning against a column. He smiles, "Don't worry, they were all busy and didn't see me!"

New York- 0, Mr. T- 2

On our trip to Little Odessa, we prepared Mr. T for the challenges ahead. "Don't bother trying to engage them in any meaningful way way, they are surly folk at best. They would just as soon punch you in the groin as help you out. Oh, and for God's sake... don't sample anything!" I said.

We made it through the shopping trip without any errant samples. It was pleasant and quiet enough. As Mr. T was paying he said, "So... are all of you Russian?" to the woman behind the counter.

"No." Her blue eyes are a frozen river.

He smiles. "Well, where is she from?" indicating to the woman at the next register.

"Russia." Her face is as cold as Siberia in December.

He smiles again, "Where are you from?"

"Uzbek." The wind from her "z" holds the icy north wind.

He smiles agian, "Well, nice talking to you. Oh... Dasvidanya!"

Her face cracks slightly, I see the edges of a smile and a bud of green grass is seen on the tundra.

NYC- 0, Mr. T- 3.