Today there was a job interview in Sheepshead Bay. Get out your maps of NYC and your calculators, kids! If your intrepid duo are at the top of Queens in Astoria and they need to get to the bottom of Brooklyn, how long does it take on the subway, assuming you get every express train you can and the train moves at 15 mph. That's right. 1 hour and 45 minutes. Not to mention the fact that you end up in Sheepshead Bay.
Luckily, we left ourselves plenty of time.
After leaving my wife to her interview, I sat down in the Turkish Cafe that was on the ground floor of the office building and ordered, well... a turkish coffee. The coffee was terrific. Strong enough to instantly grow chest hair yet sweet enough that it probably wouldn't hurt too much if it did.
Sitting in the atrium of the building and looking at maps, I noticed the owner and his business partner sitting with a loud, somewhat obnoxious older guy. He handed them a stack of cash, asked for a check and told them to make "Damn sure there is money in the account. I don't want to find out that it F*&$#-ing bounced." He stands and walks out.
I sit and savor the coffee.
Next, in walks two plainclothes NYPD. How do I know? They wear their shields on their chests on thin metal chains. The guy is far better looking than Sipowitz and the woman as well. My turkish host tells them about a guy who stole a table and chair from out of the atrium. It was at 3:15 a.m. on Sunday. You see, his coffee shop was open because sometimes customers come in for late night coffees on Sunday. In his words, "A black guy comes in and starts moving around a table and chair.... Then it's just gone..." When asked by the good Inspector and Hercule about a description, he says, " You know... a black guy."
At this point a turkish comedian comes on the radio that is blaring and starts cracking jokes. Sentance. Sentence. Sentence. Laughter. Sentence. Sentence. Laughter.
Nice counterpoint.
After the interview, we decided, "Since we are about two stops away, why not check out CONEY ISLAND!!!" I've added the caps and explanation points for editorial purposes. If you have not been to Coney Island lately, I highly recommend you keep it that way. It's dirty, depressing and while we were on the board walk I think I saw the film shoot for the crappy dialogue in the middle of a porn flick. At least they were enthusiastic about their lines.
It makes me think that when Carnivals go bad, they really end up bad. Rides need paint jobs, sidewalks need sweeping, and there really is no place in this world anymore for "Sink the Creep." They almost got me to shell out three bucks to dump this guy. Basically, it is the typical game where a guy sits on a chair above water and you fling baseballs at a target to see if you can dump him in. As a special bonus, they blasted a pre-recorded tirade of the most racist, demeaning crap I've lately had the pleasure to listen to.
Kids love it there. I think I saw some crying quietly and rocking themselves in their strollers as they left.
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