Justice is Served

Wednesday was a bad day. I had the blues for no real reason and it was hard to get out to get to my day job.

On days like this, nothing cheers me like a Bacon, Egg and Cheese on a Hard Roll from the West Side Deli. Without the careful meal-planning that Kitty does, I would probably get one every single day. Same thing, every day. You can imagine how I might be able to fill Pavarotti's shoes after a couple of months of that. Thankfully, I only have one every two weeks or so. It is a decadent treat to lighten the otherwise dreary world of office work.

I've blogged previously about my love of these sandwiches and the guys who make them. Even though I'm not a daily or even weekly customer, I've been in there enough that they look at me and say, "BaconEggAndCheese." I repeat it back and we exchange nothing more than a hello and a smile beyond that.

I was second in line on Wednesday morning. The guy in front was looking like he just finished a night of heavy boozing and there were at least three customers behind me, clutching beverages and stoically waiting for their moment with the line cooks.

Just as my boozy friend was opening his mouth to order, a short, round woman stalked up and said, "I want a whole wheat bagel, plain cream cheese, not toasted. Just that. One, two, three." Boozy and I looked at each other in surprise.

"Lady," I said, "the line is back there."

"All I want is a whole wheat bagel, plain cream cheese, one, two three," she said and looked at me hard. "It will just take a second of his time. I bet you want eggs. All I want is a bagel with plain cream cheese, onetwothree."

"Well, I guess not everyone in this world can be curteous." I was in rare form. Like I said, I was in a bad mood. "It's too bad you can't seem to wait in line like the rest of us."

"I just want my bagel, onetwothree, with Cream cheese, whole wheat. It's a quick order. It's 8:47 and I need to be at work in ten minutes and my bagel is quick, 123."

"Alright, what do you guys want?" said my line cook, smiling at us.

"Eggs on a hard roll, pepper salt," says Boozy.

"BaconEggAndCheese," says I.

"Where's my bagel? I was here yesterday and I got a whole wheat with plain cream cheese. 1, 2, 3."

My line cook turns his back and reaches for the eggs.

The woman pushes her way past customers to the cashier. She says, "I've got a whole wheat bagel, cream cheese, 123."

"Lady," snaps the cashier, "There is a line of people ahead of you. You'll get your bagel when it is ready."

Now the whole store is smiling. "I just want a bagel, one, two, three." The line cooks are flat out giggling now. The customers know that this is not going to end well for the little round budger. "It's 8:52. I was here yesterday. I just want my bagel, one two three." There is a pause for about 5 seconds and then she turns, like Napolean at Waterloo, salvages what little is left of her pride and marches out of the store empty handed.

Two minutes later, I'm handed Justice, wrapped in foil, looking remarkably like a Bacon, Egg and Cheese on a Hard Roll.